The little girl I tutor threw her pencil down in frustration and defeat.
That was my cue. I lunged for the whiteboard and a handful of Expo markers before I started copying down the fraction problem. I guided her step by step through the solution, backtracking whenever I saw confusion on her face. After I explained, she turned back to the paper in an attempt to battle the problem on her own. With perfect precision, she solved it! She defeated the fractions!
We got up from our chairs and celebrated the hard-earned victory. We waved around our arms and legs in excitement and played games as a reward.
I have learned to offer affirmations like, “I’m so proud of you!”, “You’re doing so well!”, and “You’ve improved so much!”, with each tutoring session.
I’ve incorporated these simple elements into our weekly classes to keep her engaged and stress-free, and they have actually helped me in ways I would never have imagined. By applying the enthusiastic praise I offer her to my own life, I have started recognizing myself for every effort. I feel satisfied after achieving any task and motivated to keep going.
When I first entered high school, I found myself suppressing my daily accomplishments. Whether it was some form of homework, a quiz, or even a final, nothing seemed worthy enough of celebration. My days became a routine of locking myself in my room until every last assignment had been completed. Even completing the most challenging of tasks simply felt expected, not like an accomplishment.
When I first started tutoring the young girl last summer, I didn’t understand how to prevent her panic attacks from frustrating math problems or bring out her confidence in writing. I pushed her to do math problem after math problem and assigned numerous essays to write. Our sessions first started with many tears and frustrated screaming, but soon I started to understand how to approach the situation. Every time anything was accomplished, big or small, hard or not, we celebrated. We started to take breaks between each worksheet and saw each obstacle we tackled as something extraordinary. I brought her small prizes and rewards. She started feeling excited for every class and proud of herself for every challenge she fought. It became second nature for me to jump up in excitement with her and play board games every couple of minutes. It not only changed her attitude towards learning but also started to affect me as well.
I used to dread going home after tutoring her because it meant tackling mounds of homework, but slowly all the work has started to seem less daunting. I began allowing myself breaks between hour-long study sessions. Each paragraph written for a paper was noteworthy and every math problem solved was improvement.I saw myself in her, someone who needed confidence. I started building my confidence by self recognition and loving every step of growth despite how little it may seem.
Little things I would have previously never noticed seem significant now. I stopped being so hard on myself and started encouraging myself with rewards, just like I do with the girl I tutor. I allow myself to go out to get sweet treats every so often and walk around my neighborhood after finishing some of my work. As a result, I’ve found myself less stressed and actually enjoying the things I do. My homework doesn’t feel so tedious anymore because I’ve embedded it with motivation and rewards. I celebrate myself after every step I take and I’m proud of every accomplishment.
The girl I tutor has taught me lessons far greater than any math problem I could teach her: to celebrate the little things and love to learn.
