Dancing Through Life
“Why think too hard?”
Happiness. Joy. Excitement.
Emotions that are usually never present in this somber column have finally made their appearance in my life. How, you may ask? Well, I’ve spent my entire academic experience preparing, stressing, agonizing over college, perfecting my resume, curating a lengthy list of extracurriculars, framing myself into the perfect student; the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the feeling of never being good enough has all amounted to Jan. 10, 2025, when I submitted my final application.
Ever heard the saying, “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey?” Completely, utterly, entirely false. I’ve never in my life felt such satisfaction as I did at the end of this tumultuous high school endeavor, pressing that button, and getting that underwhelming “Congratulations!” screen. And you know, I thought it would come with some sort of nuanced feeling, one of definite relief, but also a distant kind of melancholy at its symbolic nature; the fact of it is, I’m growing up. No, rather, I’ve grown up. Despite how chaotically it’s happened, in a couple months, I’ll be off on my own, perhaps thousands of miles away from home. As someone who’s spent their entire life being overly introspective and stressed about my impending future, I should feel conflicted. I should feel sad. I should feel overwhelmingly horrified.
Nope!
I feel nothing but pure, fantastic bliss. I’m finally free! So, following the wise words of Prince Fiyero in Wicked, I’ve been dancing through life, gliding “mindless and carefree.” I hang out on weekdays now, getting impromptu sweet treats with my friends and using my weekends to have fun, instead of as mediums for doing more work. I’ve started to pursue hobbies in a leisurely fashion and for no other purpose than my own entertainment; I used to think that if I picked something up, I had to become the best at it, or else it wasn’t worthwhile. I’m no longer going to put that kind of pressure on myself. I’ve begun to play the bass and practice tennis with the sole intention of achieving nothing. It’s wonderful! And, the other week, I went into a test completely unstudied and wholly unprepared. This would have spiraled me into an anxiety attack in the past, but I felt absolutely fine. As of recently as well, I’ve leaned into my immaturity, reliving the things I used to do in my youth: playing Minecraft, fighting kids in laser tag, and binge-watching childhood shows. Most of all, I’ve decided to halt my perpetual pursuit of deep, intellectual meaning for the time being, and just let myself go. Because truly, “Life’s more painless for the brainless. Why think too hard?”
This probably isn’t the healthiest mindset. Maybe I’m in denial. There’s a chance I’m just pushing my problems off, shoving it deep down for it to fester terribly. I’ll probably face the consequences of an all-consuming existential crisis later.
But, frankly, I don’t care.
At last, I’ve found liberation. I’m no longer going to anxiously mull about what I didn’t do in the past or brood over an unpredictable, distant future; I’ve finally captured myself in the present, matching its rhythm and moving with it in beautiful harmony.
And, I’m not going to let go.