I have a confession to make: I’m a bit of a hoarder. Walk into any space that I occupy, and you’ll find it overflowing with things. 

Well, one thing, really: books. 

For those of you who know me, that comes as no surprise. Reading is one of my most pleasurable pastimes, and there’s no way I’d rather spend a free afternoon than snuggled under a heavy blanket or two, ideally with a mug of coffee, eating through pages of a story like there’s no tomorrow. On occasion, I’ve read entire books in one sitting.

Unfortunately for me though, those free afternoons are few and far between. My classes, mock trial, and other extracurriculars, not to mention college apps, all mean that I need to run a tight ship to keep up with my commitments. My reading time has been collateral damage. 

Thus, I’ve taken up some self-indulgent tsundoku. 

Tsundoku is the act of accumulating books and other reading materials, letting them physically pile up, without ever actually reading them. The word can also refer to said piles and accumulations of unread reading materials. Tsundoku is a Japanese word that originated as slang: a combination of tsun, a derivative of tsumu meaning “to pile up”, and doku, which means “reading” when used as a verb. 

I’m afraid I’ve gotten terribly good at it. Not too long ago, I was walking my family’s dog, Poppy, with my mother and sisters through our neighborhood when a particularly nice-looking book spine in a lending library next to the sidewalk caught my eye. 

Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the book was Penguin Classics’ The Complete Dead Sea Scrolls in English by Geza Vermes, and not worn at all. What serendipity! What a find! I snatched it right out of the library and practically skipped the rest of the walk. 

Walking into my home though, I was immediately wracked with guilt. From the doorway, I could see my desk in the next room, a pile of books I’ve meant to get around to teetering precariously on one side. Deciding it might be best not to put my new addition there, I ascended the stairs and entered my room,where I was met with a bookshelf that took up almost an entire wall, filled with books, many of which I have read, but many of which I, as of yet, have not.

Those poor books were essentially in purgatory. Not only was I not getting the benefit of reading them, but other people who might weren’t able to either, because here I was stockpiling them like Smaug amasses Dwarven riches. The bookworm imposter syndrome I felt was crippling. Maybe it was time to do something. 

I’ve now drawn up a complete list of the books in my tsundoku in the order I want to read them, as well as made a pile of books I don’t think I’ll realistically ever read or have lost interest in, to donate back to lending libraries. Thanksgiving Break starts tomorrow, and college apps will draw to a close not long afterwards. I’ve made a promise that I won’t purchase, borrow, or check out any more books until I’ve made a dent in my To Be Read list (TBR). The holiday season and my birthday will undoubtedly bring gifts of books and Barnes and Noble Gift cards, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, and opportunities like that only come once a year anyways.

Yes, I may be adept at tsundoku, but my failed attempts to home my new book were a wakeup call for me. I’ll read The Complete Dead Sea Scrolls in English, and I’ll read my other books too—all of them. I won’t let any schedule prevent me from doing something that I hold so dear. I will make the time. 

Maybe next week.