With Valentine’s Day on everyone’s minds, my TikTok for you page has been flooded with countless videos of people showing off things that their significant other bought them.
This isn’t particularly out of the ordinary, especially for this time of year. But, then I realized that no matter what time of year it is, people are always flaunting the expensive gifts that they’ve received, and they set very high standards for their viewers’ relationships.
Frankly, it’s exhausting. I scroll past videos saying things like, “If he doesn’t get you a burr basket, are you guys even dating?” Video after video is another stranger telling me that my relationship isn’t up to par because I’m not getting showered with gifts and flowers daily.
Now, I am all for buying presents for special occasions like birthdays and holidays, and I think that giving flowers “just because” every once in a while is great, but people have been going way over the top. The media is influencing people to believe that every small achievement or milestone is a reason to be awarded gifts, and if you don’t, then you’re “not being treated correctly and you should raise your standards.”
These videos put a lot of pressure on people to treat their relationships superficially, as money-oriented rather than relationship-oriented.
When viewers are constantly seeing these influencers getting lots of presents, it negatively affects their standards. It normalizes expecting to be presented with dozens of expensive items on an average day.
According to Business Dasher, 94% of Gen Z use social media platforms every day, so whatever influencers are selling is constantly being thrown in their faces. It has also been recorded by Civic Science that 80-90% of Gen Z is easily influenced by the media.
Whenever I’m mindlessly scrolling through social media, I begin to believe whatever people are telling me, and receiving lots of gifts does start to look great. However, in reality, I don’t have the money to purchase a bunch of items for someone, so why should I expect that?
Instead, I’ve found cute and affordable ways to gift give that don’t involve spending my life savings – which is next to nothing. I think that giving cute homemade cards and crafts shows appreciation for the person, and it can be more meaningful than going to Target and buying the same thing that everyone else does.
Additionally, the influencers who are promoting constant gift-giving and consumerism are in their 20s or 30s with jobs and a steady source of income. However, the majority of their viewers are high-school students like me who probably don’t have a substantial income yet.
A big reason why gift-giving is blowing up exponentially is the rise of Tik Tok Shop. Creators are getting paid to promote and sell products from Tik Tok Shop, and these items are directly linked on the video, making it very accessible. Basis Technologies did a survey and found that 40% of Gen Zers have bought gifts directly on social media platforms. The reason for this number being so high is because Tik Tok, more than ever, has become a sea of promotional videos.
Instead of having someone to talk to, spend time with, and form a connection with, people start to believe that their ability to maintain a good relationship rides on their volume of gifts.
As much as I love receiving gifts, I don’t want my boyfriend to feel pressured into buying me a bunch of things that I don’t need. I also do not want this to put a strain on my relationship.
At the end of the day, it is fun watching “haul” videos, but it is so important to separate the content from realistic expectations. Financial incompatibility can be a major problem in relationships because it adds unnecessary stress.
By alleviating this stress and not following unreachable standards, it is much easier to have a stronger connection with someone that is built up through compassion instead of purchases.
