When I was little, my mom would make me take naps. I hated naps. The idea of going to sleep at the same time, mid-day, every day when I wasn’t even tired was just so unappealing to me. I hated the fact that instead of using my iPad, eating a snack, hanging out with my sisters, or doing anything remotely more enjoyable than sleeping, I had to go to my room and nap. I believe this was the root of my desire to not miss out on what was happening around me. 

The fear of missing out was and still is, a big part of my life, and it is constantly taunting me. 

Ever since I started using social media, my FOMO has gotten worse. I have this need to be caught up on any and all news or events. Whether it be the latest celebrity drama or some fleeting online inside joke, I feel like I have to know it. 

Being up to date with trends and news gives me the feeling of being more connected to the world. When I know more about what’s happening online, I feel less excluded from our generation and its trends. 

But in reality, my incessant need to be on social media is the exact thing that disconnects me from the world around me. Rather than asking about someone’s day, or how their last class was, most of my conversation starters are things related to the new information I’d recently encountered online. Things like “Have you seen that one TikTok where…” or “Did you see Kanye’s Instagram posts?” are questions I frequently ask to seem informed and trendy and be connected, as it’s the only way I feel that I can. 

As much as I want to spend less time on social media in order to focus on myself and my more important priorities, these self-improving feelings are blocked out. Because most of my identity is based on participation in social media trends, I can’t hang out with friends or family without recalling a recent Tik Tok trend or a funny Instagram post that I wanted to do or show 

The fear of missing out and not knowing anything is constantly at the center of my life, and I fear that I won’t be able to do anything without needing to pick up my phone every five seconds to check the content and look at my notifications. 

What I have come to realize is that life is draining when I am continuously scrolling and swiping on apps to be aware of the things going on in the world in place of actually experiencing life. I need to be saved from my FOMO. I’m tired of being someone who constantly opens my phone when bored to just scroll for hours on social media instead of doing something more productive.