Dear 14-year-old Zeina,

I know your number one question for me is, “are we happier?” And my answer is yes. I hope that gives you a bit of solace.

What else has changed, you ask? So much. More than I can put into words here. I’ll summarize: we grew out our hair. We work out more than we used to. Our friend group looks completely different. We’re more interested in science, but still digging the humanities. Most importantly, we carry ourself with a lot more confidence.

Right now, in everything you do, you’re constantly aware of watchful eyes and silent judgments. You haven’t found your full five–feet–two–inches of stature, and you won’t for a while. You’re going to fight to find more self-love, bit by bit, and at times you’ll lose it all over again.

But you’ll keep trying. You’ll spend less time with people who make you feel invisible and find friends who ask if you want to hang out. You’ll listen to your gut and try dancing at a new studio, which will be scary, but worthwhile. You’ll take a risk and join The Nexus, and it’s going to be the best decision you’ve ever made. You’re going to learn to defend your ideas and find your voice as a writer. You’re going to join a community of smart, caring individuals who push you to be better than you are. As you begin to climb into yourself, you’re going to find that you feel like smiling at the girl looking back in the mirror.

Some things aren’t going to change. We still jam out to folk music and dance around the kitchen when no one’s home. We still get lost in books and movies that speak to us. We still love food, which will lead us to begin cooking.

If I were you again, I’d stop thinking so much about the future and focus on making each day a little more exciting, a little more outside your comfort zone. Trust your instincts. Play with your cats every chance you get. Spend less time in your head, and more of it in the world around you.

Love,

Zeina