For the past few months, every Thursday and Saturday, as I laced up my spikes and stepped onto the track, ready to race in one of my meets, the same recurring thought crossed my mind: “This would be perfect, if only…” Sometimes I might have thought, “This would be perfect if it wasn’t so hot,” or rainy, or windy, or cold. These thoughts kept me from thinking it was a good day to be racing. But now I see that it didn’t really matter if the weather was good or not because it was never going to be good enough for me. I was always going to be subconsciously looking for what could be better.
This feeling that there will always be something better than your current situation is known as the “Grass Is Greener Syndrome” and it doesn’t just apply to the weather during track meets. It can apply to almost any situation, and it can prevent people from fully appreciating the present.
This phenomenon, according to PsychCentral, is based purely on fantasy and fear. Fantasy comes into play when your mind pictures a perfect world and compares it to your current situation. Fear is when your mind tricks you into thinking you are possibly missing out on something better. All areas of a person’s life can be negatively affected by this syndrome, from academics and sports to relationships. This mindset inevitably leaves you never feeling truly happy.
When it comes to academics, comparison is the thief of joy. According to Growing Leaders, a non-profit organization, because of Grass Is Greener Syndrome, students often struggle to take pride in their achievements because they compare them to what they believe they could have accomplished. This can lead to a lack of self worth, anxiety, and even depression.
The “This would be perfect but,” mindset I had before each track meet can apply to any sport and is easy to fall victim to. It can cause performance anxiety and hurt athletes’ confidence, just as it hurt mine each time I’d line up to run. I would focus on everything that wasn’t perfect, causing my anxiety to build and build. Soon, I doubted my ability to perform and mentally lost the race before I even started running.
In relationships, according to Forbes, many tend to believe that a better partner or situation exists, which leads to feelings of doubt and dissatisfaction. While these beliefs can stem from first-hand experiences in a person’s past relationships, a lot of times these ideas fester because of Grass Is Greener Syndrome. In that case, it can create commitment issues among individuals that prevents them from nurturing their current partner.
Although I used to be tempted to complain and believe the grass could always be greener before a track meet, my mindset has improved significantly since I finally broke free from that way of thinking.
After I became conscious of the fact that I was in control of my mindset, that I could choose whether to be positive or negative, I started to actively reorient my perspective and focus on the things that were already great. Instead of letting the hot weather bother me, I remind myself to be grateful that there isn’t pouring rain. And when it’s raining, I remain grateful for the fact that I’m not somewhere running with UV 11 and heat warnings.
Aside from sports, being aware of my tendency to only focus on what’s negative in my life has improved my academics. Before a big test, instead of worrying about the material that I didn’t have time to study the night before, I confidently answered the questions I’ve memorized like the back of my hand.
Now, every time I lace up my spikes and step onto the track, I can shift my focus away from other grass and appreciate that mine is already green.
