A storm was brewing for many of us seniors: gray clouds rolled in, a thunderous roar erupted, and the sky began to pour tears. We were in the high seas—facing an unpredictable battle with the waves of an imminent, certainly uncertain future.

But now, we wait in the eye of the storm . The appearance of calm in a limbo filled with anxieties about what’s to come. Soon, we’ll be inundated with decisions about where we’re going and who we’re becoming.

And at this moment, as we wait to exhale, I thought I’d reflect on how I got here.

In early autumn I had no intention of applying to college. I felt beaten and battered by the unrelenting seas of life: depression, anxiety, and a family member’s cancer diagnosis. Above all, truly, I was deeply insecure about my spotty academic transcript. After a suicide attempt and surrounded by Westview’s academic culture, I felt like I was crawling to catch up in a race I felt so helplessly behind in. I believed that I didn’t have the strength to weather the storm of college applications nor did I have a chance, so I made no attempt. 

My loved ones told me that I could, and eventually, I began to believe them. And for me, college applications became a culmination of the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been, and the experiences I’ve had. 

 It’s the hospital. It’s my grandparents and mom. It’s my sisters. It’s counselors and teachers on this campus. It’s the friend who brought me flowers. It’s a psychology teacher and a struggle with mental health that made me love and hate the brain. It’s the boy who read every single one of my essays. It’s the overcoming of a situation that took so much power from me. 

I never imagined I would enter the storm. I never imagined I’d be in the eye. I never imagined there was an end in sight for myself, but now I’m manning the ship toward my future. 

College expectations, I have them; I’m not immune to dreaming. But if I pause in this eye of the storm, oh, how far I’ve sailed. And as the clouds clear and the rain subsides, I think I see a distant sunrise on the horizon.