Aliens invade US, threaten American culture, disgrace Founding Fathers’ good names!

As a country, we are facing an alien invasion.

Some force that we have not seen before, one that can only be paralleled with a strange form of magic.


They may seem unharming, innocent, and helpless, but we must be wary! They have a strange force about them. Their ominous abilities have led to dissent in our beloved country. They have harnessed the power of the universe and taken our jobs. It cannot be their intelligence, their job experience, nor the education that they have received that has made them worthy of our occupations.

According to Brookings Institution’s Senior Fellow, Dany Bahar, these aliens have taken 15 percent of our jobs in the workforce, and account for a quarter of entrepreneurs and business owners in America.

The aliens come to our country searching for a solution, searching for solace from their other worldly problems.

As Americans, we understand this, but we cannot deal with that right now, we face greater issues: poor WiFi connection, slow traffic, and being too heavy to ride elevators.

This does not mean that the problems in their countries are easy to fix. Genocide, poverty, and social discrimination are not trivial matters. However, those countries should work things out amongst themselves rather than let their citizens escape and let everything slip through their fingers.

Yes, we were an indirect catalyst in the issues that they face today, meddling into the affairs of other countries. Even then, what makes them think that they can breathe our sacred air and unrighteously utilize our capitalist society?

To take our resources would be unjust and to abuse our benevolence would be cruel. After all, we were here first.

An uninformed person would postulate that we are immigrants as well but this is simply not true. We’ve been here for hundreds of years!

In the 1770s we escaped from the rule of the tyrannical King George III, who took away our rights, our money, all while taxing our tea.

We came to America in 1607, actively searching for a better chance. With elbow grease and convictions, we built from the ground up to escape from injustice.

Yes, today there are Myanmar refugees fleeing from ethnic cleansing and racial persecution. Yes, there is a humanitarian crisis in Syria. But these situations are just different; not everyone is deserving of a chance at a better life anymore.

If we let them come here, what about strains on our resources?

And even if we did, it all would come at too high of a cost.

Why would we want more ideas, more jobs, and a better economy for our country? Thank you, but America would be better off with the absence of immigrants.

Sure, they earned $1.3 trillion in 2014, and contributed nearly $224 billion to federal taxes that same year, and our economy has become dependent on them, but we don’t have the special powers they do.

It’s unfair that all they’ve done is flick their wrists and taken away all we had. Those immigrants have no idea what true struggle is.

After all, we’ve put in hard work to become what America has today, we cannot just hand that to them.

How would they feel if someone came along and took everything away from them? They should at least give us a chance.